For no particular reason, Carolyn and I decided that this morning is the time to start our blog. We’ve been talking about it every now and then for a while. Our idea is that if we have to clean up the house, we could make it a little more fun (or something) by making a blog about it.

Carolyn told me just now that her reason for wanting to clean the house was so that she can make videos. Whenever she wants to make a video (which she loves to do), I groan and complain because I don’t want her showing any of the clutter in the house.

That got me started thinking about why I want to clean the house. My first answers were easy – so that I can have more space for people, so that I can find things, so that I can have space to do things, because it’s embarassing. It’s true, I want to have a clean table so I can make costumes, and I want to be able to walk around without feeling like I am navigating a maze.

But then Carolyn and I have an argument about whether we are going to start the blog this morning, and I realize the #1 reason I want to clean the house. I don’t want the house to keep getting in the way of my relationship wtih Carolyn. I want to be able to do reader’s theatre with her without realizing that we can’t find a space to do it. I want to be able to have our science supplies available and a clean, washable table so we can study things with her magnifying glass or make mixtures. Play games. Run simulations. Wrap ourselves up in scarves and pretend we are mitochondria – are those the ones with the little fibers? Play music and dance – at least on the days I can dance. Because I have issues with my back. Intense pain sometimes. I’m supposed to avoid hurting it, and sometimes it feels like that itself is going to kill me: having to be still and inactive, and feeling useless.